my criminal record circa 2009: guilty of obsessively completing myspace surveys—you know the ones: “150 random questions,” “100 favorites,” “69 questions about your relationship.”
me in 2019: still chuckling at 69 and indulging in some good ol’ retro fun.
here’s a survey i also did in 2010 initially titled, “I’M SO BORED.”
Have you ever had someone pick you up off the ground and carry you?
yes. i can’t say it’s my favorite thing.
Last person to smack your ass, why did they?
not sure, but the only answer i would appreciate hearing is that he was pretending to be akon.
How late did you stay up last night and why?
3 a.m. insomnia-fueled binging feat. brooklyn 99.
Who will you be sleeping with tonight?
i will be sleeping alone.
Name something you disliked about the day you’re having?
v lazy day.
When was the last time you had butterflies?
few days ago; mid-panic attack.
What's the weather like outside?
have i left my house to check the weather today? doubtful.
Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh?
Is there anyone you wanna see?
not at this very second, but yes.
Are you starting to realize anything?
yes; it’s okay to ask people for help and admit failure.
Do you think someone is thinking about you?
i don’t think so.
What was your first thought this morning?
food. i’m a simple woman.
Do you miss the way things used to be?
Think back to the last person you kissed, do you think they care about you?
Have you ever tried your hardest then got disappointed later on?
yes. life is as full of disappointments as it is triumphs.
Will you talk to someone on the phone tonight?
most likely not.
Do you still pinky promise?
Does the last person you shared a bed with mean anything to you?
Would you go in public with no make up on for 1 month for $200?
Has anybody told you that they miss you lately?
Do people think you’re a good person?
i think so.
Where were you last night at 11p.m?
home. in bed. watching brooklyn 99. when i binge, i binge hard.
Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough?
What are you doing right now?
this and listening to billy joel’s “movin’ out (anthony’s song).”
Think of your last kiss, was it cute?
no; it was very unwanted.
If the year consisted of only one season, which would you choose?
i like being able to enjoy all four seasons but if i had to choose, i would pick autumn.
Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
It's four in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
probably spam tbh.
Your phone is ringing. It's the person you fell hardest for, what do you say?
“are you okay?”
Are you lying to yourself about something?
Do you need to say anything to someone?
If someone liked you what would be the best way to let you know?
say, “hey. i like you.”
Do you think people talk about you?
no. i don’t know enough people for that.
Are you okay with making a total fool of yourself?
How was 2009 for you?
i literally don’t even remember.
Is there one person you look at and automatically smile?
do dogs count?
Did it rain today?
i think so but i haven’t left my house in 24+ hours so i don’t really know.
What plans do you have for tomorrow?
work, school—the usual suspects.
What woke you up this morning?
my very, very messed up circadian rhythms.
Do you own anything that is tie-dyed?
Does the last person you held hands with mean something to you?
i don’t even remember who that was. so sorry.
What are you doing later on?
probably play gardenscapes till i fall asleep. guilty pleasure.
Do you wish anyone in particular was still in your life?
sometimes, but for the most part no.
Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
my friend zach called me saying he was at my place and had to tinkle.
What is the last song you heard?
don’t speak by no doubt.
What makes you happy?
here’s a list.
When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
my mother assaulted me with a bear hug yesterday.
What are you thinking about now?
a potential cavity i have that i should address since i’m overdue for a dentist appointment but probably won’t anytime soon because it’s a dentist appointment.
Last movie watched in theaters?
it might have been bohemian rhapsody but i don’t really remember.
Do you like to wear flip-flops?
not really. i prefer more supportive sandals.
Who were you with the last time you went to the mall?
i went alone.
Who was the last person to make you smile?
i laughed for about half an episode of brooklyn 99, so probably one of those characters.
Do you think somebody likes the same person you do?
i don’t like anyone in that manner at the moment.
What was the last thing you drank?
Name one thing you love about winter?
When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in then start it?
i think i do both.
Tell me about the shirt you are wearing..
it’s from a burnt orange tank from aerie that’s super worn and pilled up.
How long does it take you to get ready?
about half an hour if i decide to put on makeup. about twenty minutes if not.
Do you wish you had more money?
YES. crippling debt is REAL.
What is the date today?
february 25, 2018.
Have you ever watched a movie in another language?
yes. i like foreign films.
Whose car were you in last, not counting family?
my own? am i my own family??
Ever liked someone older than you?
i typically like people who are older than me.
What color are your eyes?
Ever called a person useless?
one of my favorite insults, to be candid.
Where is your biological mother right now?
watching tv in the living room.
Do you like the snow?
i do when i don’t have to shovel it.
Is your sister a slut?
i don’t have a sister.
Do you believe there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
yes? i never claimed to have the best moral compass.
Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Which did you discover first, myspace or facebook?
myspace all day!
Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn't do?
Is there something that happened when you were younger that you hate talking about?
yes, but it’s not a subject i completely avoid either.
Do you dislike the last person you kissed?
i don’t dislike him but i literally never want to see him ever again.
Closer to your mom or dad?
When you trip, do you get embarrassed or just play it off?
i just play it off. everybody hurts.
Do you like your school? Why/why not?
yes and no. i like my school but i hate how far it is from where i live.
Does anyone disgust you?
president trump 🙃
If you could punch someone in the face right now, would you?
I bet you’re going to kiss someone tonight, right?
haha. you’d be right.
You can only drink one liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?
water, both sparkling and flat.